Just a momentary glimpse of Amber Tacke’s sensitive deep brown eyes and jet black hair reveals the deep well of gentleness that seems to make up the core of the young woman’s personality.
Her exchange of a few shyly whispered responses to questions followed by the hearty, enthusiastic comments of her parents further reveal that neither Amber or her family are troubled much by the Down Syndrome that has shaped all their lives since Amber, their youngest daughter, was born 18 years ago.
“Amber has a very loving, honest, gentle heart,” her mother Tammy says. Placing a loving pat on Amber’s arm Tammy continues, “We’re very lucky you’re in our family.” Amber beams at the comment.
Down Syndrome is caused by a full or partial copy of chromosome 21 which alters the course of fetal development and causes the characteristics commonly seen in people with the condition. Amber displays the typical low muscle tone, small stature and upward slant of the eyes caused by the genetic dysfunction.
Early on however, Amber’s unique personality shone through the generalities associated with her condition.
“In the first stages of physical therapy for Down’s Syndrome children therapists use a blanket toss to help small children get used to movement,” Tammy says. “Typically, Down Syndrome children don’t like that motion, but Amber loved it.”
Therapists were puzzled at Amber’s response to her therapy, but Tammy and Tom knew it stemmed from the fact that they related to Amber just as they did to their other children.
“There was no special or unusual treatment,” Tom says. “Our kids carried her around and roughhoused with her just as they had one another. We never set her apart from our other children. She’s always been included in everything our family has done.”
In past times, relatives and friends who were unfamiliar with Down Syndrome were sometimes uncomfortable around Amber until they became acquainted with her.
“They would ask us how they should treat her,” Tom remembers. “That seemed strange to us because we had always treated her just as we would anyone else. Once people understood that, they were perfectly comfortable being around her.”
As Amber has grown into a young woman, the multi-faceted aspects of her individual personality have sometimes captured the hearts and minds of her family members.
“She is very sensitive to spiritual things,” Tammy notes.
“She perceives things that other people don’t recognize. That became very clear to us when our daughter Maria was pregnant.
She was about three months along and we were all sitting at the dining room table enjoying a meal. Out of the blue Amber said, ‘Listen. Do you hear that? He’s giggling.’ She said she heard the baby giggling and it was a boy. At that point we didn’t know if Maria would have a boy or a girl, but she did have a son, Thomas, about six months later. Just a couple of weeks ago, right after Thomas woke up, Amber was sitting next to him. I said, ‘Thomas, it’s Amber.’ He looked at Amber and smiled.
There’s a special connection there that the rest of us don’t have.”
Amber is also very in touch with things happening around her. Her parents say she serves as a sort of watchdog for inappropriate language.
“It’s never done in a scolding way,” Tammy says. “But if she hears someone say a word that shouldn’t be said she just quietly says, ‘I heard that.’ It’s as if she’s asking us to consider what we’re saying and be careful with our words.”
Expressing her own thoughts is not always easy for Amber.
Her brief comments can often be clear and insightful, but they don’t happen easily.
“It sometimes takes a while, but it’s in there,” her father Tom says. “Amber loves to dance. At a wedding dance she wore holes in her socks and danced till her feet were blistered and bleeding. We put band aids on her feet and she went right back to the dance floor.”
Among Amber’s numerous talents are carrying gifts to the altar at her church, gathering her family together for special occasions and singing.
“It has taken four years for Amber to become courageous enough to take part in the high school music group,” Tammy says. “When she was a freshman she wanted to sing, but she couldn’t get past the curtain. She stood behind it while the other students sang on stage. As a sophomore she walked onto the stage, but she wasn’t able to sing. She had to keep her eyes downcast. In her junior year she stood on the riser and was close to singing. Now, as a senior, she’s singing with the other students and enjoying it very much.”
One of the highlights of Amber’s high school experience was her nomination as the 2012 Homecoming Pioneer Princess.
Fellow students nominated her and then selected her as their class royalty.
“It was fun to see the students support Amber,” Tammy says. “She was so surprised by it all. ‘Mom, they like me.’ That was her comment. She felt accepted by her peers.”
One myth about Down Syndrome individuals is that they need special education services and are unlikely to integrate into mainstream life. The fact is that most people with Down Syndrome have mild to moderate cognitive delays and fully participate in public and private educational programs. Some go on to complete college degrees.
Amber’s graduation in Spring 2013 will bring her family together to celebrate her educational achievements. Her parents are working with local agencies to help find the right placement for Amber so she can take part in meaningful work.
“She loves to work and she can be very good at communicating,” Tammy says.
“She’ll let you know if there’s something she does or doesn’t like.
“We’re very proud of Amber,” Tammy continues. “In the beginning the doctors shared all the worst statistics with us and explained all the struggles we could expect to encounter. But we didn’t experience those things. Amber has been very healthy all her life and she has caused our family to be more aware of others and the important things in life.”
The Tacke family has learned patience and the value of looking at life from a different perspective.
“One of the greatest things we’ve learned is how to deal with Amber Standard Time,” Tammy says. “There’s no way to make her hurry. That has made me a much more patient person.”
“Amber has brought all of us closer to one another,” Tom adds. “She has been exactly what our family needed. There’s nothing fancy or complicated about Amber. She just pours out her love on everyone, blessing all of us, and she doesn’t even realize it.”
