I’ve always believed there are angels who walk among us, but my recent encounter with a wonderful lady confirmed my belief. BJ Johnson has opened her heart to more than 100 children throughout the past three decades of being a foster mother and she shows no sign of slowing down.
BJ was born in Westport, South Dakota as the youngest of six children. After she graduated from high school in Barnyard, SD she moved to Onaka, SD and lived there until she moved to Yankton about 35 years ago. She has one biological daughter, Susan, who lives in Redfield, SD. BJ and her husband, Ken, also have two adopted daughters who came to them initially as foster children. Summer came to them at the age of five and was twelve years old when the adoption process was finally complete; Regina came to them around the age of nine and was adopted at the age of ten. BJ and Ken have been blessed with eight grandchildren and four great-grandchildren. Their home always full of activity, BJ and Ken continue to take in foster children while raising their grandson, Ean, an adorable eight-year old boy with dark hair and a vibrant smile.
BJ started caring for foster children 36 years ago, around the age of 41. She and Ken had no children at home at the time, as Regina was already grown and out of the house. A lady she knew had asked her if she and Ken were interested in becoming foster parents and they agreed, both of them enthusiastic about it and willing to give it a try. BJ, now seventy-seven, never dreamed that she would have fostered well over 100 children over so many years. Looking at her, she doesn’t even appear to be of retirement age; it’s apparent that the children have kept her young.
She has developed many memories and relationships with her foster children over the years. BJ and Ken recently went to visit their second foster child, now in his forties, at his home in Utah. During their stay, he reminded BJ that she taught him how to cook during his three-year stay at her home. One of BJ and Ken’s fondest memories is of a darling two-year old girl and her siblings. Her almond-shaped eyes and dark cocoa hair gave her the look of a baby doll. She had a sweet and charming personality that BJ and Ken fell in love with. They still talk about her to this day. I asked BJ if they become attached to the children, if it’s difficult for them when the children leave. She said sometimes they can get attached, but it is all part of the process and the satisfaction of having helped a child makes it truly worthwhile.
The best memories she has are those where the children are truly astonished and thankful for receiving something we may take for granted. She said the look on a child’s face when they sit down to a hot meal, have clean clothes to wear or a warm bed to sleep in is instant gratification to a foster parent. She still remembers times where she would take in a foster child over the Thanksgiving or Christmas holiday seasons. The children would marvel at the traditions of putting up holiday decorations or gathering together to celebrate over a large meal. Often BJ would serve their holiday meal with punch to drink, doled out in little punch cups. This was a pure delight for several children in having a new treat some of them have never experienced before.
BJ and Ken do more than just taking care of the children’s basic food and housing needs. BJ said Ken is wonderful with the children; he loves to spend time with them. Aside from teaching them to cook, BJ will teach the children other skills if they show interest. BJ has a talent for sewing; somehow she finds time for a hobby of making beautiful quilts. Some girls in her care have shown interest in her sewing, quilting and embroidering and she’s taken time to teach them the trade. Taking care of foster children also helps BJ and Ken continue to enhance their own knowledge by brushing up on school studies. As they now mainly take on school age-children, Ken and BJ assure that their foster children have their homework done every night. As most parents do, they learned that reviewing and checking the child’s homework yields better results than taking the child’s word for it.
Over the years, BJ has opened her heart to children of all ages, from infants to teenagers, from one to six children at a time. Her foster children have been with her for various timeframes, up to three years at a time. I asked her for a briefing on how the process works. When BJ and Ken became interested in becoming foster parents, they worked closely with the Department of Social Services during the process. They completed several steps required to obtain their licenses, which they are required to renew annually, along with annual training hours, fingerprinting and a home inspection. When there is a child or children in need of a foster home, a social worker contacts BJ with information about them, including how many, their age(s), and a recap of the child’s situation. BJ can decide at that time whether she and Ken are able to foster that child.
Curious, I asked BJ if there were challenges in helping care for foster children. She explained that there are challenges similar to those with raising any child. As you assure the child’s basic needs of shelter, food and clothing are met you must consider that the child may be facing a behavior issue that you are unfamiliar with, such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. This may challenge the discipline process for the child. School-aged children sometimes take extra encouragement and guidance to complete their homework on time.
BJ feels she has gained just as much as her foster children have over
the years. She’s become more aware of how many children in the community need help. She’s become conscious of basic needs that you and I take for granted, a hot meal or clean, pressed clothes, and how these things can make a world of difference to a child. The gratitude from the children for her opening up her heart and home to them fills her heart with more compassion. Quite honestly, I don’t know how such a great big heart can fit into her little body.
This vivacious little lady shows no signs of slowing down. Along with raising a grandson and continuing to take in foster children, BJ also helps with the Respite Program. This program allows her to take care of children in another foster parent’s care if that foster parent needs to be away, is ill, or just needs to have a break. Think of it as a “babysitter” other foster parents can turn to. She also volunteers her time three days a week to assist with a food bank at the First Assembly of God Church in Yankton. When she has time, she manages to work on her quilting hobby.
I asked BJ if she has any advice for anyone considering becoming a foster parent. She feels that it’s important to have an open mind and a big heart. A foster parent often can’t predict a specific outcome to occur, so being flexible and adaptable is a vital attribute to have. Her foster parenting experience has been extremely rewarding, evident by the beam on her face as I talked with her about the children she has encountered.
According to the South Dakota Department of Social Services, 608 children are in foster care in South Dakota, with 17 children in foster care in the Yankton area. In South Dakota, 689 families are licensed to provide foster care. In the Yankton area, 27 families are licensed to provide foster care and nine families are available to take placements. If interested in information about becoming a foster parent, please visit with your local Department of Social Services office or go to www.fosteronesd.org.