not feel comfortable asking for help. I’ve discovered that there are
many things you can do. Make a meal for her and her family. Don’t
be so much concerned about what she is able to eat; as long as her
family has a meal it will take a weight off of her shoulders. Any
food you bring will be appreciated, and it is especially helpful if you
bring a meal that is easily frozen to be reheated later. Bring her a
movie, a cup of coffee, a single flower or a balloon. As long as you
are healthy, ask her if you can stop over for a short visit. Send cards
and letters often and call to check in. My sister-in-law lives a good
distance away from me. My husband and I made a routine of
calling her every weekend to talk and catch up. We’d focus on
topics such as hobbies, interests and family, to keep conversation on
something besides her illness. We would utilize her great sense of
humor and come up with funny ideas and stories to keep her spirit
going. I would write her letters and we would send her the
funniest cards we could find. If your friend lives near, you can help
with laundry, house work, yard work, or offer to babysit her
children so she can rest. Help get groceries, run errands or offer to
drive her home from chemo treatments. Just a bit of your time can
make something feel less overwhelming for her.
Getting through
I’ve learned from these amazing women that the most
important thing is to remain positive. They would look for the
positives anywhere they could find them rather than dwell on the
negative. They celebrated the little things: one more treatment
done, feeling a little better, having a good day, good test results.
They felt blessed to be able to be treated with surgery and/or
treatment. At some point during treatment they didn’t feel well,
but it did not get any of them down. One stressed the importance
of getting up in the morning, taking a shower and putting on her
make-up. It made her feel better about herself and the
compliments she received boosted her self-esteem even more. They
all let their inner beauty continue to shine through. They found
doctors that they were extremely comfortable with. If they did not
agree with their doctor’s advice or doctor’s personality, they sought
another physician. They were determined and unwavering. They
found their backbone, weren’t afraid to ask questions, do their own
research or say “no” to something. They learned that they could
lean on family and friends for support.
Continue your support
I came to realize how long and ongoing cancer treatment can
be. There will be ups and downs, good days and bad days. It is so
important to continue your support throughout the entire process,
even after treatment is complete. Our weekly phone calls to my
sister-in-law have lasted long past her treatment and we’ve become
closer than ever. I would never have thought that her cancer
would actually have brought us closer together. You might find that
hearing of someone’s cancer diagnosis will give you a reason to give
of yourself that much more; it may even end up strengthening your
bond with someone. Why not turn this ugly word into a beautiful
friendship?
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References:
www.cancer.org
Lewis & Clark Medical Plaza
2525 Fox Run Parkway, Suite 101, Yankton, SD
www.entyankton.com • 605-665-0062 • 1-866-665-0062
n By Julie Eickhoff
HERVOICE MAY/JUNE 2014 v 9