HEALTH My Friend Has Cancer. How Can I Help? How can one little six-letter word be so unsettling and intimidating? Cancer. Half of all men and one third of all women in the United States will be diagnosed with cancer sometime during their lifetime. That comes out to one in two men and one in three women. Think of the people around you: in your family, at work, in your church, in your circle of friends. Chances are if you don’t know someone yet who has battled cancer, you will. When someone you love is diagnosed with cancer, a heavy heart follows disbelief. You would love to help in some way, but just don’t know how. “Can I ask how she is doing?” “What can I do to help?” “Should I even offer to help or bring it up?” These are questions we all have when faced with the diagnosis of someone we care about. Like many other people, I have loved ones that have been affected by cancer. Most recently, my sister-in-law has faced breast cancer and two friends have endured ovarian cancer. When I heard of each diagnosis, I was shocked, speechless and disheartened. I felt helpless, like there was nothing I could do to help them. I have learned over time that there are many ways to support and help and I wanted to share my experiences with you. What you can say I’ve learned that everyone is different in their personality, diagnosis and treatment. The person diagnosed with cancer is often in shock and scared when they find out the news. I’ve found the most welcome gesture is just to offer a hug, tell her that you will pray for her and will be there for her. When she is ready to talk about it, she will. Be available to listen when she is ready to talk. I’ve learned through conversations not to offer advice unless you are asked, and you shouldn’t say “I know how you feel” unless you have faced cancer yourself. I’ve found out that you should not tell her stories about what you’ve seen other people with that cancer type go through. She may or may not have to endure that same treatment or side effects or she may not want to even discuss them. Some may wish to discuss more about their diagnosis than others, and in discussion you may ask what kind of cancer she has but it is not polite to ask about what stage. Often one might make a rash generalization about the cancer patient’s treatment and outcome when they hear her stage of cancer. I’ve learned that the most important thing is to be positive and supportive; be there for her and listen more than you talk. What you can do I first anxiously waited for them to ask for help. I wanted to help so badly; anything I could do, I was ready for it. I found that if you really want to help her, don’t wait for her to ask. Often she will Insuring your life helps protect their future. Rhonda L Wesseln, Agent 1023 W 9th Street Yank ton, SD 57078 Bus: 605 - 665 - 4411 rhondainsuresyou.com P097314.1 P097314.1 It can also provide for today. I’ll show you how a life insurance policy with living bene?ts can help your family with both long-term and short-term needs. We put the life back in life insurance.™ We put the life back in life insurance. CALL ME TODAY. CALL ME TODAY. State Farm L Insurance Company (Not licensed in MA, NY or WI), State Farm Life and Accident Assuranc Company (Licensed in NY and WI) m Life ssurance Bloomington, IL 8 v HERVOICE MAY/JUNE 2014