How To Get Through... When Jan and Pat Garrity’s son, Sam, completed suicide on September 28, 2015, they had no idea how to get through. “After the initial shock, we mapped out a plan for ourselves,” Jan said. “We said, ‘If we still don’t want to get out of bed and can’t stop crying in 90 days we will need to get ourselves help.’ Thankfully, we had a very good friend who brought us information about the Helpline Center and we joined a counseling group with other survivors of suicide. We gleaned a lot of good stuff 8vHERVOICEvSEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2016 and built some great relationships. Our group has developed into a little family.” Jan and Pat traveled to the Helpline Center in Sioux Falls once a week for nine weeks and now meet monthly with other members of the group. During the session the counselors and attendees discussed the grieving process, coping strategies, handling anger and guilt, how men, women and children grieve differently, dealing with holidays, anniversaries and special days, the stigma of suicide, the healing process and hope. “At the beginning of the sessions I would have laughed at the prospect of ‘hope’ being something I could experience ever again,” Jan said. “There is so much pain and guilt.” The Helpline sessions helped Jan and Pat learn that they had to have compassion-compassion for each other, for their friends and families, for strangers and for themselves. “You have to give compassion to yourself, also,” Jan said. “You feel guilty and angry and you beat yourself up, but you have to be compassionate to yourself. That’s probably the hardest part. It takes work.” Pat said he found it comforting to see other people struggling with the same questions he had. “After this happened I had thoughts I had never had before,” Pat said. “I didn’t think I was going to make it through. I had these thoughts and they scared me and I didn’t know if they were right or if I was blowing it out of proportion or if I was being reasonable. The group let me know that it was normal that I should freely talk about my thoughts. I heard others who had gone through the same things, so I knew that I shouldn’t be scared. Because there were people who were further along in the process, we could HOW POWERFUL DO YOU FEEL? While 51% of the nation’s wealth is held by women, close to half are worried about outliving their wealth. Taking control of your finances can help you feel better, and we can get you started with a plan. See what a Raymond James Advisor can do for you. LIFE WELL PLANNED. Kathy Greeneway Certified Financial PlannerTM 225 Cedar Street, Yankton (605)665-4940 First Dakota Brokerage Services, Inc. A subsidiary of First Dakota National Bank. Securities offered through Raymond James Financial Services, Inc. Member FINRA/SIPC an independent broker/dealer. Securities are offered through Raymond James Financial Services, Inc., member FINRA/SIPC, and are not deposits; not insured by FDIC or any other governmental agency; not guaranteed by the financial institution; subject to risk & may lose value. First Dakota National Bank and First Dakota Brokerage Services are independent of RJFS.